The Rapture, May 21, 2011

I’m feeling pretty generous today, so I thought I’d throw a little attention at a man who’s becoming more and more known each day, Harold Camping.  Harold is a ultra-conservative right-wing nut job who has predicted that the Biblical Rapture, invented by modern-day Christians, will occur this Saturday!  That’s right, 4 days from now!  Harold is an old bastard with nothing to lose, so he’s having a great time in his old age inventing even more chaos amongst the fundamentalists of the world.  Evidently, this whole thing is going to begin with the world’s largest earthquake…a global earthquake.  Death, destruction, gore and even more death.  Fantastic!

As an atheist, personally, I can’t wait!  I’m planning on raiding every home I can find whose occupants have been raised up to heaven on that day.  I’m guessing I’ll need supplies, and who better to get supplies from than those who’ve left their possessions behind?  I’m also seriously considering setting up my own little white trash Waco stand-off fortress at my house.  I figure with all the zombies running around (the dead who weren’t saved) and the lawlessness that will occur, I should definitely be ready.  For food, I hear roasted zombie can be rather tasty.

The best thing to look forward to will be not having to go to work.  There is always a silver lining, isn’t there?  To add insult to blood-soaked injury, Harold wants us to all know that the chaos will only last until October 21, where the end of the world will come.  So, if you’re like me and can’t wait for a 5 month stand-off, this should be a good deal of fun.  Roll Tide.


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